This Time it’s the “Should’s” That Caught Me

I am such a random thinker;
it’s why I titled this blog “Just a Thought.”  I can’t really ever be trusted to stay in
focus, since my ADHD brain simply skips all over the place.  So, this morning, what’s on my mind has nothing to do with where I’ve been headed as I walk through the book of Matthew.  It is still a part of being a follower.  It does incorporate an aspect of practicing righteousness; and, I do know we all need reminders like this one.

Last night was one of those
nights…another one, just like last week.  Do you have them? Probably. 
I still have them often, though not as often as in the past (this is
progress).  My over-active brain used of
most of the dark-hours mentally/verbally beating myself up.  The drill is typical for me…and another cause of anxious thinking:  “You shouldn’t have said…”   “You should have said…”  “You have such a bad attitude…”  “If only you were more…”  “What makes you think you can…”  “What a failure!”  “You are guilty of…”  “What a bad daughter, wife, mother, grandma,
speaker, mentor…”  “You really are pretty
useless…”  “What could I/should I/ do I
need to do differently?”   I finally fell
asleep in time to wake up again, and, when I got up, I physically felt beat-up,
as well (that’s a result of getting older). 
I hobbled to my typical morning spot, where I like to chat with Jesus,
realizing I needed a mountain of this thing called GRACE – not just from Jesus,
but to give as a gift to myself, as well. 
Whether I felt like it, or not, there’s only one place to find it and
that’s in the Word of Truth.  So, with
coffee in hand, I opened my Bible, prepared to turn to Matthew, where I’ve been
reading and listening verse by verse.

Instead, my Bible fell open to a favorite passage of
Scripture.  Coincidence? I think
not!  Zephaniah 3:17 is a favorite of
many of us:

The
Lord your God is in your midst; a victorious warrior.  He will exult over you with joy.  He will renew you (some translations read,
“quiet you”) in His love.

He
will rejoice over you with shouts of joy (again, some translations read,
“singing” instead of “shouts of joy”).

Oh, my! 
Immediately, I felt, inside and out, the same way I felt the first time
I stood under a cascading waterfall in Kenya following an arduous hike.  Amazingly refreshed and renewed.  One verse, a waterfall of promises!  Here’s what’s true:

*  God is here – ever present! 
Where he is, there is GRACE, GRACE God’s GRACE – greater than all my
sin; all my mistakes; all the thoughts of “I should be better-than-this,” all my shame. 
GRACE that will pardon and cleanse within…  Sufficient GRACE; because the ever-present
ONE is sufficient. 

*  God is fighting for me, in spite of me.  Under the wing of God’s presence, He fights
to protect and see me to the end: complete in Him (not perfect, just
complete).  The good news is that because
He is God, He’s always victorious.  What
may look like a defeat is only a temporary loss, my victory is secured.

*  Not only is he present, and fighting for me, at the same
moment, he is rejoicing over me.  What a
picture – my God dancing and singing, shouting exuberantly, because He loves
being with me.  He loves being in MY
PRESENCE.  If that won’t renew a soul,
nothing will!  I don’t get it; I don’t
know why…but I refuse to question it…it’s truth.

This morning, I am preaching three things to myself (we all need to remember to preach often to ourselves – seriously!):

I have his presence. 
I have his protection (victory). 
I have his promises.  Add them
together, these things result in: fullness of joy and a quiet heart of
peace. Yes, they do!  I am so grateful.  

What would I do without his WORD?  Oh, how I need it every day!  Hallelujah!

Jeremiah 15:16