The past several weeks have somewhat drained me – not overwhelmingly, just a “tinge.”
Just enough to sense:
1) the enemy tactically distracting me from my primary focus…
2) joy seeping slowly out of my soul…
3) weariness settling into my physical body…
4) a mental blockage…creativity waning…
5) and, lastly, a notion that I was struggling to be on the “same page” relationally with family and friends…
Since, before the mother-daughter retreat in New York, my schedule has been rather chaotic.
I’ve enjoyed every single minute of this full schedule:
* Exciting speaking opportunities
* Encouraging company
* Spirit-Present life-group meetings
* Intimate, vulnerable conversations over coffee with friends
* God-ordained counseling “sessions” (most of which happen over FaceTime or Skype)
* Prep time for upcoming retreats
*Normal day-to-day-routine
As with most husbands, mine noticed I’ve seemed a bit “off.”
So, very early yesterday morning, on a spontaneous whim, Bay parked the truck in the front of the house with my paddle board loaded in the back, and simply said, “I think you need a morning on the lake.”
Sigh.
It’s been colder.
It’s been rainy.
It’s fall…doing what fall does best…preparing to let go of summer and move into winter.
There aren’t many days left to be on the lake…if any!
So, even though my full day loomed ahead of me with a to-do-list that looked a bit like a grocery store receipt after I’ve shopped for our family of 25 coming to stay for a week (no they haven’t come lately, it’s just a comparison), I jumped at the chance to spend a peace-filled hour on the water.
The morning didn’t exactly start as I’d hoped.
Half-way to my usual parking space, a truck hauling a road-grater pulled out in front of me. His eyes fixed on five elk grazing on the hill across from him, I don’t think he even saw me. Fortunately, my eyes saw him. I course corrected to move to the side so he wouldn’t hit me, and give him plenty of passing room. However, my truck slid on the wet grass as I slowly braked, pulling to the side.
Sigh.
Not even four-wheel-drive placed my vehicle back on the road.
I texted the husband.
Non-plussed, Bay jumped in the jeep, came, and rescued me.
I was ready to head home, thinking no way my shaky legs could stand on the water at this point.
However, I pressed forward.
After getting my SUP in the water and my dry bag on its tip, the board, paddle, and I shoved off into the crisp fall morning.
It was gorgeous – the lake still and quiet as could be —- the mountains surrounding me stark and grand —- just me, the fish jumping and the ducks bobbing.
About thirty-minutes into my glide across the lake, I heard a voice in my spirit whisper, “Sit still. Know me.”
Tempted to argue, I thought, “I’ll just sit down on the inside if that is OK?”
No. It wasn’t.
“Sit still.”
“Be quiet.”
“Cease working.”
“Sit.”
I sat.
Then this: “Look and see what the Lord has done…”
These words are God-words that He has spoken to me often in the midst of life-chaos.
Undoubtedly, they are as familiar as breathing to you, as well.
We find both mandates in the midst of Psalm 46 among other wonderful God-words.
I grabbed the devotional book in my dry bag and read the next psalm that followed Psalm 46:10.
Psalm 47 begins like this:
Joy is what I needed most, so as I sat, I began pondering all of God’s mighty, creative hand in nature around me.
He is AWESOME!
He is a GREAT KING…a good God…ever present with me…and, His creation is a reminder of it all.
Instantly, praise and adoration filled my heart that a God so vast, so mysterious, so compassionate and full of steadfast love…would honor ME (small, insignificant ME) with such gifts…
…and, sporadically my soul began to fill with renewed joy.
These thoughts struck powerfully, and this is what I leave you with:
When we sit in God’s Presence, no matter the place, and look closely, we will see Him all about us.
When we see Him, we can’t help but sit in adoration –
As we adore Him, He fills up what is lacking with JOY full and overflowing.
So full, we can’t help but cry out (or just simply cry)!
Here’s the end of it all….
Feeling your joy seeping away?
Maybe it’s completely depleted?
Maybe all is good and status-quo?
No matter, I’m here to remind you, it’s always a good time to pull up your seat across from Jesus at the King-Table and get filled up, re-filled, or topped off.
