Two nights ago, Bay and I went for an evening horseback ride with friends in the National Forest behind our house.
For some reason, my sweet Tali, decided to be a real pain in the neck.
She stubbornly kept trying to eat oak brush as we wandered through it.
She lagged behind and wouldn’t keep up with the others, no matter how much “encouragement” I gave to her.
She didn’t pay attention well, and stumbled, time after time after time…
Of course, the more she acted up, the more frustrated I got with her.
By the time we got back home, there was no way under God’s green earth, she was getting a treat for being a good girl (and, she has pretty much come to expect it)…
In fact, I almost didn’t take the time to brush her…
If I could have exiled her in a “time out” with her nose pressed to a wall, I would have done so…
As I’m reading through the Old Testament (almost through 2 Chronicles), I found myself relating to the Lord’s frustration at the stubbornness of the Israelites.
I totally found myself in His corner cheering Him on as He sent His children into exile…
Until…I heard His gentle whisper to me in the middle of the night: “Examine yourself…”
He’s just so gentle, in His pursuing of me…
It wasn’t a scolding.
Not a reprimand.
Just a request.
A simple ask…”Take a look inside.”
Oh, sigh.
There is within me, now and again, just like Tali…just like the Israelites…a rebellious spirit.
I want what I want…when I want it…my way.
I fight against my bit…
I sulk in the back of the line…
I don’t want to do or go with the flow of those in front of me…
My heart is sullen.
If God doesn’t come through for me immediately, I look to other gods to make it happen…
As I sensed the Lord’s wooing, His longing for me to just submit, so we can “enjoy the ride,” I felt my eyes get a bit watery.
How sad I am over my own Tali-like-behavior!
I deserved exile…with my nose pressed up against a corner of a wall…
…Instead the Lord offered me outstretched, nail-pierced-hands, and reminded me, all was well between us.
Jesus secured my forgiveness.
The cross was my acceptance.
It was my new identity.
Because of the cross JUSTICE REIGNS SUPREME!
By virtue of the cross, I’ve been given a life of purpose, spiritual gifts which bring me great joy, and a home being built for me in eternity (have I mentioned that I’ve put in my “wish list” – I have – a little one room cabin, with a wrap around porch, on one side an ocean view, on another the Arizona desert, on another the mountains with a peaceful lake view, and the fourth…just a field of wild-flowers-minus-bugs)…
The cross has put me on level ground with all humanity – for all of us have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory.
We’ve all missed the mark…
I’m no better, no different, no worse, than any one else who walks this planet…
As I was finally drifting back to sleep, the words to an old hymn I’d sung as part of a group I’d been involved with in high school came back to me.
I remember singing it then (wow, even before I knew the Lord), and each time meant the words as a prayer. Now that I’ve been to the cross, it changes everything!
Today, knowing Him…
Comprehending the Cross…
These words mean so much more!
I drifted off to sleep praying this hymn, with a longing that I will ever stand below, in the shadow of the cross…reminded of Love and Mercy…
Reminded of my call to walk as Jesus walked…
Reminded of all that is mine IN HIM…
Of all the hope I have to look forward to…
Then, to offer this hope to others…
If I don’t realize first that I am a problem and run to the cross…I will never have an opportunity to talk about the real answer.
And, standing in the shadow of the cross (picking up my cross and carrying it), I’m reminded how to live…
With justice…
With mercy…
With kindness and humility…
Just as Jesus did!
Jesus is still, not an answer, THE ANSWER!
