I don’t really know where to begin…
My heart is broken….
So, I’m especially grateful for the verse above. I keep whispering it into my soul…
So much loss this past week…
So much grief!!!!
And, with it, even more transition to come….
My reflections have traversed back and forth between two panels of thought, and maybe writing this little blog, will bring me to a conclusive third….something that makes sense of all the mess that is unraveling in my mind; all the division that is our country; the despair I feel for all the injustices, heartache, divisiveness, and violence.
First Panel of Thought:
Fingers are pointing in every direction.
Everyone is looking for someone to blame.
If it’s not the President’s fault, it’s the conservative evangelical white Christian, who can’t seem to get past being anything but a white supremacist.
Or, it’s God’s fault. Even though, in our hearts we know:
If it’s not one of the above, then it’s the police, the National Guard, the military (that makes it my son’s fault, by virtue of his “calling”).
Or, maybe it’s Democracy’s fault….perhaps, what we need is a good socialistic government (although that seems like an oxymoron to me).
I‘m not trying to point fingers or place blame, I’m still trying to understand how we got from COVID-19 quarantine, and worries about how to “re-open” our country, to crammed-together-in-the-streets violent rioting of our major cities?
I’m here in my little world trying to gain information, understanding, and wisdom…
I’m asking the right questions (at least I think they are the right ones):
What can I do? How can I help bring change? How can I be God’s hands and feet to help heal broken-hearted people, deliverance to those who are crushed in spirit?
I hurt for the Floyd family….
…and, poor Mr. Floyd…I believe his death has been exploited in every way imaginable!
Those who want to help find justice for his murder are now adding (maybe the word should be, multiplying) to the injustice!
My prayer is that justice be served in every way possible for this horrific homicide! And, may some measure of peace be found as righteous changes are made from the top of government down…
Someone posted this last night on FaceBook (which has been a huge source of DISTRAUGHT) last evening. It’s where my thoughts in this panel of thinking has landed. (Change the we to I…)
Second Panel of Thought:
After I wrote last week’s blog, which highlighted God’s words to Abraham in Genesis 12, I couldn’t get my mind off of Sarai, Abraham’s beautiful wife.
What happened after God showed up and spoke to Abraham letting him know 1) he needed to move away from all that was comfortable and known, away from family and EVERYTHING FAMILIAR? 2) What happened in the conversation with Sarai? 3) Just how did that go as he explained all this to his wife?
As a wife, I’m curious.
Genealogically, Abraham was nine generations past Noah.
Sociologically, the couple lived in a pagan land, with pagan gods, and worship of Yahweh was a thing of the past… The ways of Yahweh were virtually lost in this land… Abraham must have still been a worshipper, but he was, undoubtedly, a secret service worshipper…
Culturally, in that region and that time, the wives didn’t have much say. Sarai grew up in this culture. Abraham probably took her as his wife from a local family.
Characteristically, Sarai’s name meant “my princess,” and as her name suggests, she was undoubtedly the daughter of someone of a higher class of people. As well, Sarai was stunningly attractive, even into old age (which is why Abraham always told her to say she was his sister as they passed through other kingdoms – he didn’t want to be killed so that some king or Pharaoh could add her to his harem). But, does that mean she was a bit spoiled, maybe a bit coddled? I don’t know, but it causes me to wonder…
Sarai, however, even though she lived in a world where wives were low on the totem pole, wasn’t one to keep quiet. When Haggai began to mock Sarai for her inability to conceive and have children, she twice made it clear, that Abraham needed to deal with her maid.
Then, we read in the New Testament that Sarai (God changes her name to Sarah, because Sarah does, eventually, have a relationship with the Lord) is applauded for her “faith,” and extolled as a role model for what a submissive wife should look like…
In my mind, I was playing out this possible conversation:
A: So, Sarai, I was visited today by Yahweh, and He, um, basically, commanded that we leave this country to go to a place that He would show us…BUT, there’s this HUGE promise of BLESSING if we obey…
S: Who’s Yahweh?
And, that’s about as far as my imagination took me.
I did wonder how Abraham answered his bride.
I, then, wondered if I were asked that question, how I would respond.
And, you…if someone asked, “Who is God to you?” what would your answer be?
So that takes me to the following.
Third Panel of Thought:
In seasons of grief, loss, brokenness, heartache, transition, division, change this is the most important question we can ask and answer.
This basic line of theological thought is critical.
The answer is not who I want Him to be…
It is not what I think Him to be…
It is not what others tell me about Him…
The answer is as I study Scripture, research the Word of Truth as a Whole, live life and experience God’s direct relationship with me, WHO IS HE?
Sarah’s question is the most important question we can ever ask and answer.
Because WHO GOD IS directs the course of my life…
WHO I BELIEVE HIM TO BE spells out my belief system…
As my belief system goes, so goes my behavior…
So goes where I put my trust…
Will it be in a government?
A military?
A police force?
Other people?
Because if I can’t answer WHO GOD IS then I am a prime candidate for despair, hopelessness, and, even, violence on the streets.
If there is not a SOVEREIGN GOD on the throne of my heart, ruling over the affairs of man on this earth, who is GOODNESS, LOVE, GRACE and MERCY, then I have NOTHING of any value to hold onto, or in which to rest my faith.
It is way past time to figure that one out!
It’s time to live out this identity in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY!!!
He’s shouting out to us to KNOW HIM in this season of great PAIN…
What will we do about it????
