I ran across an odd phrase while perusing the dictionary (I
know, I’m a nerd…I’m OK with that).
Ever heard the term “merit-monger?”
If so, you either lived (which I highly doubt), or have read literature
coming from the sixteenth century. It
hung around for about a hundred years and then descended into obliteration
around 1828. We may need to revive it
here in this century. I’d like to say,
“I aren’t”…but…I fear…I am. If the
cliché is true that it “takes one to know one,” then I come across others like
me on a regular basis, too.
Here’s how merit-mongering works – I’ll make it personal. Over the past several years I have spent
significant time, energy, and money investing in the development of a
particular program. If you and I were to
sit down and chat, I could tell you every thing I’ve ever done to contribute to
its success. I can also tell you every
hindrance and hurdle that, in spite of all my good efforts, has caused this
“baby” to not get off the ground. I can
go through the inventory quite effectively, and make a good case for my project. By the time I am through, you would agree
with me, that my undertaking is worthy of consideration; should not be
overlooked; and, in fact, you would recognize, with me, that I have a right to
be credited, if not greatly rewarded for my efforts. Not only would you think I deserved to be
compensated; but you’d also be indignant that I wasn’t! Merit-mongerers know how to make a case for
themselves…
significant time, energy, and money investing in the development of a
particular program. If you and I were to
sit down and chat, I could tell you every thing I’ve ever done to contribute to
its success. I can also tell you every
hindrance and hurdle that, in spite of all my good efforts, has caused this
“baby” to not get off the ground. I can
go through the inventory quite effectively, and make a good case for my project. By the time I am through, you would agree
with me, that my undertaking is worthy of consideration; should not be
overlooked; and, in fact, you would recognize, with me, that I have a right to
be credited, if not greatly rewarded for my efforts. Not only would you think I deserved to be
compensated; but you’d also be indignant that I wasn’t! Merit-mongerers know how to make a case for
themselves…
Don’t we all do this to a certain degree? It may not be a project. It might be a job. It could be found in a class we’re taking, or
the child that we’re raising. It can be
found in our marriages, in our friendships, in the way we think about life, in
general. We maintain a mental two-column
list. On one side is the do-good list,
the other side just doesn’t happen to be the do-bad list, but the done-bad-against-me-list. Both lists prove my point: I deserve
_________________ (you fill in the blank).
I have a right to ____________________.
I’ve earned the credit for____________________. I am worthy of being treated with
________________________. The whole
concept of “merit-mongering” falls under a category of justice. We want to believe that there is a valid principle of
fairness, satisfaction received, and reward justly handed out to the “deserving.” When it doesn’t happen, and we turn up
empty-handed, we get angry, upset, discouraged, and depressed. After all, “I had a right to…”
the child that we’re raising. It can be
found in our marriages, in our friendships, in the way we think about life, in
general. We maintain a mental two-column
list. On one side is the do-good list,
the other side just doesn’t happen to be the do-bad list, but the done-bad-against-me-list. Both lists prove my point: I deserve
_________________ (you fill in the blank).
I have a right to ____________________.
I’ve earned the credit for____________________. I am worthy of being treated with
________________________. The whole
concept of “merit-mongering” falls under a category of justice. We want to believe that there is a valid principle of
fairness, satisfaction received, and reward justly handed out to the “deserving.” When it doesn’t happen, and we turn up
empty-handed, we get angry, upset, discouraged, and depressed. After all, “I had a right to…”
Here are some of the well-deserved, merit-mongering rights I
hear myself saying, as I do others:
hear myself saying, as I do others:
I deserve to be treated with respect (“What am I chopped liver?”)…
I deserve to be loved (“Everyone should love me as much as I love myself;” I think it, even if I would never dare say it)…
I deserve to be happy (“After all I have put up with, isn’t it time?”)…
I have a right to be married (“God, didn’t you say it wasn’t good for man to be alone?”)…
I deserve to make the same amount of money (“Whatever happened to impartiality and equality? Why should you get more than me?”)…
I have a right to be compensated (“Look at all the effort I
made!”)…
made!”)…
The desire to demand my rights came out of my 1970’s past,
and has cemented itself into my current Christian culture…yours, too (just maybe not connected to the 70’s). But, as
I have been reading through and studying the book of Romans, I catch the
current of a different tide; and, as I ride the wave to shore I see a bonfire
and an altar. Then, I hear these words, “I urge you, my beloved, in view of God’s mercy, to
present yourself…this is your spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1).” As long as I think I “deserve” or “demand one
right or another” I will stay trapped in a cycle of defeat. I will never experience true joy. I will never be fulfilled in worship. I will always be on a spiritual and emotional
roller coaster. The only way out is
off. The way off is to yield.
and has cemented itself into my current Christian culture…yours, too (just maybe not connected to the 70’s). But, as
I have been reading through and studying the book of Romans, I catch the
current of a different tide; and, as I ride the wave to shore I see a bonfire
and an altar. Then, I hear these words, “I urge you, my beloved, in view of God’s mercy, to
present yourself…this is your spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1).” As long as I think I “deserve” or “demand one
right or another” I will stay trapped in a cycle of defeat. I will never experience true joy. I will never be fulfilled in worship. I will always be on a spiritual and emotional
roller coaster. The only way out is
off. The way off is to yield.
Jesus showed us “the way.”
“I came down from heaven, not to do
my will, but the will of the one who sent me (John 6:38).” The writer of Hebrews said it, too: “Here I am…I
am come to do your will, my God (Hebrews 10:7).”
Last week, I mentioned that I would expound on the other reason I needed to swim around in the darkness of Romans 1, 2, and 3. I’m going to put that off for one more week, because, actually, it has a lot to do with merit-mongering…
Thanks for hanging in there with me.
“I came down from heaven, not to do
my will, but the will of the one who sent me (John 6:38).” The writer of Hebrews said it, too: “Here I am…I
am come to do your will, my God (Hebrews 10:7).”