(What a way to start a blog entry! If my girls were here, they’d call me a “Debbie Downer.” Yet, I would tell you to read on, because what the Lord’s been speaking to my heart is, in fact, a LIFE-LIFTER.)
However, this statement about life is an undeniable truth.
More and more, I am aware of how fragile life can be.
It’s made me say many times over that, while I have breath, I want to be more present.
Pay attention more.
Soak in each day and feel the fulness of the little moments.
To live life wide-open, whole-hearted, fearless…
I laugh – “Wide open?” “Whole-hearted?” “Fearless?”
These are not words anyone who knows me would use to define me.
They would use words like: fear-filled, cautious, hesitant, insecure, comfortable-on-my-couch-in-the-corner-in-my-jammies…
Part of what holds me back is my fear of being imperfect (saying “yes,” because to do something without a guarantee is very scary for me)…
I want to be a “say-yes” kind of gal, to whatever life has left for me.
So, let me clarify something first: there are plenty of things to which I need to say “no!”
I’ve had to practice that word many times in the mirror.
It’s been a hard word to learn.
For too long I said “yes” to requests that had left me too busy, too rushed, too overwhelmed, too tired, too enslaved to a to-do-list.
Those are toxic yeses.
There are also unhealthy yeses.
I am not the kind of gal who would say yes to rock climbing, or marathon running, or extreme skiing, or anything DANGEROUS (some things are just STUPID for me at this stage of life).
But…I want to throw open my back door each morning and step out onto the porch to breathe in a fresh new day, and say “yes,” with enthusiasm.
To say “yes” to all the Lord has for me in this brand-new-day.
To say “yes” to being a Good Samaritan, if the opportunity arises.
To say “yes” to all things JOY.
To say “yes” to long walks down unknown trails.
To say “yes” to fulfilling opportunities.
To say “yes” to making heart-connections with others.
To say “yes” to crocheting little hats for preemies in hospitals in Kenya…and being delighted in the smallness of them, and the space that making them creates to pray for these small-ones valiantly fighting for their lives.
To say “yes” to lengthy horse rides in the forest with my husband, sometimes bush-barging through places we’ve never been, even if it means my knees will pay the price for a short time.
To say “yes” to sitting down by the river with a cup of coffee and my journal, no matter how big my grocery list is.
To say “yes” to a spontaneous day away over the pass, to a Big Meadow, and a wonderful sit-by-a-quiet-lake to chat with a chipmunk, and listen to fish jump, and watch the love-of-my-life fish (in spite of the fact that I need to be writing seven brand new messages for two upcoming retreats).
To say “yes” to learning to paddle board (I’ve been saying I’ve wanted to go for three summers, but still haven’t).
To say “yes” to taking meals to others who are out of commission.
To say “yes” to Jesus-whispers, when He sweetly says, “Come away with me, my beloved.” He has! He does…often! And, sadly, sometimes my knee-jerk response is “I just don’t have time.”
To say “yes” to the Spirit of God, when He says, “Worship the Lord and bow down…kneel before the Lord, Your Maker, for He is YOUR God, and you are the sheep of His hand, the people of His pasture…” AND TO DO JUST THAT!
To say “yes” to my God, when His word says, “Today (meaning: EVEN NOW) if you hear my voice, do not harden your heart…” for when you say “yes,” then you will fully “ENTER MY REST.”
I long to be a Say-Yes-Woman!
To make the most of each day I have.
To breathe in and breathe out a kazillion little yeses every day that make every day a Sabbath Rest.
