Over and over again, I’ve been reading the above quote, which I actually wrote in my Bible, sometime last February, a little more than a month into my focus on joy. Here’s the other one-liner I wrote in the margin of my notes:
I’d been sitting in church listening to the pastor preach a message on something totally unrelated, who made one little side comment, and these two thoughts leapt out of nowhere, and onto the notes I was writing. I tried to stay focused on the remaining message (which was actually coming to a close), but I found myself swept away with a flood of conviction.
I’m not, by nature, a thoughtful, nor generous individual. Some people are born that way. I was not. I was born to be organized. People who were born thoughtful know the right things to say, the right things to do, and when a generous thought hits the brain waves, they don’t suppress it. They do something about it. Me, I’m thinking more about myself and what I need to get done. Being thoughtful is not the first thing to come to mind when it comes to giving away finances, time, resources, energy, words of encouragement, acts of goodness and kindness… That’s a sad indictment. True, but sad. To be generous, I have to be particularly conscious and ask myself the question, “What can I do for someone else?” “If this were me, what would I want right now?” Generally, my life is measured by the current “to do” list sitting on my desk, not the acts of generosity I make room for during the day. For some reason, those don’t often make The List.
To be generous means I pay attention.
To be a giver means I listen to the Lord’s whispers regarding others…and then respond as He would to them.
To be lavish in my kindness means I stop thinking about me (& my “to do” list) and creatively connect with someone else.
To be generous means I make space in my life for thoughtfulness.
Here’s the thing. I don’t want to just write these words down on paper. I want to be a doer of them. I want to heed that one thing I noticed about others who are natural-givers: when thoughtful people have a generous thought, they don’t suppress it. Because, truth be told, I’ve had some generous thoughts, then I over-think them. They go no further than the head, because I start thinking about all the other stuff on my plate. As my husband always says, “We make time for what’s important to us.” Obviously, my priorities are out of whack.
So, how do I change. Here’s another “ism”: nothing changes if nothing changes. So, I start with the small steps, that which is doable. I begin with confession (which means an intentional turn in the other direction). Now that I’m looking forward, I set my hand to the plow, and don’t look back. Today, I begin planting seeds of thoughtfulness by asking the Lord to whisper a generous deed that needs doing into my head. When He does, I get ready to act on it, knowing what He suggests will always be something within my realm of capability. In other words, I must organize thoughtfulness into my life.
Other thoughts to ponder…
