Jesus-Followers practice righteousness.
There are a few particulars we seem to need to practice more than others.
Jesus gives us some specific instruction, as well as reminders that he understands as long as we’re dwelling in our earthly, fleshly tents, living righteously won’t be easy. However, with practice, it does get easier.
So far, we’ve discussed giving away our money – check!
We’ve looked at prayer – check!
However, right after prayer, in which Jesus specifically incorporates forgiving those who have sinned against us, he offers a little commentary on forgiveness.
His commentary is only two verses.
It is very straight-forward…and, also, very convicting…and very hard.
I certainly need forgiveness – often! So, I wish I could say that I was a person quick to forgive. Here’s the bottom line. Sometimes, people don’t live up to my expectations; sometimes, they say/do things to me that are very hurtful (often without even realizing it); and, sometimes, they do things intentionally to be hurtful (these folks are the hardest to forgive). I’ve come to realize that I give myself quite a bit more room for making a mistake, than I do others. As I’ve evaluated this truth, it has become more glaring. There are times when I’m a bit more tolerant of myself than others – and quicker to extend that act called “grace” for me. Why is this so?
I’ve discovered that I don’t REALLY understand (in an active, verb-sort-of way) what forgiveness means. So, I’ve done some research. Here’s what I’ve found.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what someone else did to me, or against me, is OK. It’s not OK. It’s still wrong. It doesn’t mean that I let the offender off the hook. It doesn’t mean that I allow them to hurt me over and over again. It doesn’t mean that I completely forget what happened. Forgiveness means that I make a choice to no longer dwell on the past, or the behavior, or the words, or the action. In doing so, I consciously choose to mentally walk away from the power the pain has over me. Not forgiving is a choice to live in bondage (ugh, I’ve been there, and don’t want to go back).
Choosing to forgive means I recognize that the action is a process, not a one-time event. It means, I may have to forgive again and again and again and… Choosing to forgive means I acknowledge that often hurt people, hurt people, and I don’t necessarily have their full story… Forgiveness means I choose to walk away from an identity the enemy is trying to stick on me of being a victim. Forgiveness means I walk in light of my new identity in Christ Jesus as that of a VICTOR!
Choosing forgiveness means I may have to confront the one who hurt me, because if I love them, I want to see them grow in character and godliness (especially if they are a believer). Choosing forgiveness, also, means I believe the truth that sometimes love covers a multitude of sins, and at this time, I don’t need to confront. Knowing the difference between the two depends on whether or not I see a consistent, repeated pattern of behavior. Choosing forgiveness also means I may never ever hear the words, “I’m sorry, will you forgive me?” from my offender. That’s between them and the Lord! It does mean I decide to forgive anyway.
Most of all, I make a decision, when I forgive, that I will not talk about what has happened to others, to myself, to them, or to God anymore. Forgiveness says, “Your debt is cancelled.” You owe me NOTHING!
No wonder forgiving is hard! Yet, when the decision is made, and when I’ve wrestled with my weak flesh one more time to the place I no longer wish to nurture a grudge, I can truly say that I have NEVER EVER FELT SUCH FREEDOM and release from burden-bearing. One thing I also know to be true, forgiving is much easier when I keep in mind my own sinful heart…and how the Lord has, indeed, forgiven me!