Being an introverted introvert, mingling is one of the most difficult requests made of me.
Before I ever attend a gathering filled with people I don’t know, I rehearse questions to ask 1) for the purpose of letting someone else carry on the conversation, 2) because extroverted folks love to be asked about their story, and 3) because often I find some commonality that will help keep the conversation going and allow me a measure of contribution.
I’ve learned over the years how to become an extroverted-introvert in an extrovert-dominated world.
I must be a fairly good actress, because most people are shocked to discover that solitude matters a great deal to me (probably more than it should).
Recently, I found myself “seated” at a table eating a meal with a group of women who all knew one another, and with whom I knew not a soul.
I have no one to blame, I picked the table.
There were, in fact, a total of four in a room of 150+ that I did know.
I could have easily gone and sat with those four.
I pulled up my big-girl-panties and sat down.
As I took my seat, I rehearsed my go-to-questions.
The conversation began to take off.
I learned A LOT about this group of gals.
They were extraordinary.
Gifted.
Skilled.
Purposed in places I couldn’t imagine myself ever being qualified to work.
Not only serving in the workplace, but they out-did themselves on the Home-front, the Church-front, the Community-front.
Impressive!
As they shared their stories, I found myself “shrinking” in that seat.
If it’s possible for a human to shrink, I managed.
An image crossed my mind from the movie, “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.”
Only it was a brief video version of “Jesus, I Shrunk the Speaker of this Retreat.”
In a split second, I thought to myself, “Seriously, it’s better that I never get to know who is in the groups of women where I go to speak. After all, most of them are more qualified than I am to do what I’m here to do.”
The more humorous part of this little story is that I drove a long way to speak on what it looks like to be “seated in the heavenlies with Jesus.”
I had zoned out of the conversation, albeit briefly, but had zeroed back in just in time to hear one of the women, look at me with tears glistening on her cheeks…
“I want you to know,” she began, “what you are sharing this weekend is touching me deeply. I am always comparing myself to others at work, at church, in my community, and as a mom. In my mind, I always come up short. I am not enough. I needed the reminder that when I am ‘seated with Christ’ my identity is secure. Thank you!”
Oh dear, new friend. Thank you!
I’d have gotten there, eventually.
But, the Lord used this table full of dear, gracious women to get me back to my proper seat more rapidly.
In that place, He has a unique purpose designed specifically for each one of us.
And, He has equipped us for the purpose to which He has called us.
For that time, and that place, we are His choice.
For other times, and other places, someone else may be His pick.
At the King-Table, there is no need for self-evaluation.
There is no need for self-consciousness.
Self-absorption.
Self-judgment.
Self-ANYTHING.
There is no need for any of this…because the King, with whom we are seated, has promised an abundant life for each of us (John 10:10).
There is no need for any of this…because the King, has unified us with a Kingdom mindset.
There is simply never a reason for comparison, because we are all “in it” for the Kingdom of the Sovereign King.
This is timely.
In one week, I board another plane, for another retreat, to speak to another group of women who could all be standing in my place doing exactly what I’ll be doing.
For this particular time and place, the Lord looked across the King-Table, pointed His finger at me, and said, “I choose you.”
If I’m chosen, I’m equipped.
If I’m equipped, then I’ll be useful to the Master, and prepared for every good work.
And, this little introvert will be transformed into the extrovert she needs to be for this coming season.
