True confessions: I am a planner.
I’ve learned to be more flexible over time. Considering the life we have led, one can’t plan too far in advance. So, I don’t do goal-setting, or I’d spend my life totally frustrated. I can’t do budget, because from one month to the next, being on a “support basis” in ministry, we never know how much money we will receive (contrary to opinion, we are not independently wealthy because my husband played at one time in the NBA). I can’t even predict what will actually grow in the vegetable garden I planted…because I’m not in charge of the rain or the harvest. Some things I can’t plan in advance. HOWEVER, I need some semblance of organization, or chaos will send me spiraling.
I plan, organize, and try to keep things orderly just for the sake of my sanity. To have a plan settles me. It’s really just the way I’m wired, can be a strength, keeps me disciplined and productive (“making the most of my time”), and helps me to “settle.” However, when I can’t make a plan, or more importantly, I can’t see enough of the future to do so, no small amount of anxiety is the result. In my mind, an unclear future is just the worst culprit for causing worry. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking: you are a control freak! I’ll nod and agree. It’s just hard for me when it feels like life is slipping out of control. I relate, then, to these words from the Psalmist:
After a not-too-thorough word study, I have written my paraphrase: When I find myself talking about how shaky my journey ahead is, it is your faithfulness and love, O Lord, that bring me strength and sustaining comfort……..and, more importantly, JOY in the journey.
I loved the NET version: When worries threaten to overwhelm me, your soothing touch makes me happy.
Reminders of God’s faithfulness, His great LOVE-capacity-for me, is what soothes and settles my soul. EVEN MORE THAN BEING ORGANIZED! When life slips and spins, I need God-reminders. I need stones of remembrance close by, stones piled into an altar of celebratory worship: “the rock of my trust (Ps. 94:22).” Lately, I’ve realized this fact about the journey of joy: the highway I’ve traveled is paved with rocks of trust.
So, at every opportunity along the road, I must do as the Lord often instructed the Patriarchs, and erect Altars of Remembrance. Altars that remind me, He’s got this life of mine. He holds my future. His will is for my welfare and not for calamity. His plans will not be thwarted. His faithfulness is steady; His mercies new each day; His provision sure; His love never failing. I need altars that boldly declare my history with the Lord. But that’s not all…
I need more celebration around those altars. This week, I started skimming my list of joy-verses. I have them all typed and in book-by-book order. I didn’t count, but so many of the initial verses line out the celebrations of God’s people, and every celebration-verse includes the word JOY. In all my planning, the one thing I’ve never been good about organizing is a party. This needs to change. If joy is going to reign, especially when there is an unclear future ahead (and let’s face it…all of the future is uncertain), then I need to sprinkle my life with party hats, balloons, fun food, and fun friends…and I need to organize, and plan, to celebrate the goodness of the Lord, the faithfulness of His sovereignty, and the hope of EVERY TOMORROW to come.
That’s exactly what I’m going to do today! After all, I am a planner!
