A memory popped into my head a few days back from about seven or eight years ago…
Odd how this happens.
However, it is one remembrance I felt worth exploring.
One afternoon my job as Dean of Women at a Christian University took me clear across Phoenix to a Behavioral Health Hospital to be with one of our young students who’d been admitted the day before.
To say it was a “trying” experience, which wore me out, is an understatement.
For the safety of the patients, one can’t just walk in, ask for a room number, and go visit.
The center is locked down.
Every item you bring with you into the hospital is taken away and put in “safe keeping.”
The wrapped gift I’d brought?
Well, the bow was untied, the package unwrapped, and the gift (a book) throughly searched for “contraband.”
Obviously, this was my first go-round…
And, I was noticeably a rookie.
It had the “feel” of visiting a prison.
Once through security, which looked much like TSA security at an airport, I was taken to a room with circular tables.
My student was brought to me.
We visited without privacy.
The more we chatted, the more I realized her stay would be long, but she was determined to “work the plan” set before her by the staff and her family.
She really wanted help.
I prayerfully (and I mean that, prayerfully!) tried encouraging her best I knew how.
By the time I left the hospital, I was emotionally drained, and physically fatigued.
Now, I faced the long drive back across town to the college and our home.
However, the timing couldn’t have been worse; and, the traffic was treacherous as only traffic can be heading West across the city back to my location come late afternoon.
Knowing the freeway was impossible to navigate, and not even wanting to try, I took back roads.
I managed to hit every! single! red! light! the entire! way! home!
I finally made it to my exit, but still had a good two miles, and too many red lights til I made my left turn onto the campus.
It was a relatively nice afternoon, so I’d rolled my windows down, to enjoy the breeze, and hoped to allow it time to clear away the cobwebs the little spider-of-sadness wove up in my head.
At one of the lights, I placed my elbow on the window sill, rested my head on my hand, and began the final few blocks of driving…
The traffic in front of me, and the cars behind me, set the pace of my remaining journey.
I could go no slower, no faster than they would allow me to go.
With head still on hand, I made it to my turn lane.
That’s when the lady in the car behind me, pulled around, and yelled at me at the top of her lungs (with her little daughter in the car), “Get off the f—ing phone!”
Startled, I lifted my hands, to show her they were empty, and raised my eyebrows.
I mouthed, “No phone!”
I doubt she saw any of my effort to explain.
What a range of emotions rose up in my heart as she rushed off to who knows where!
Unsure why she was frustrated, I longed to be able to explain myself.
I knew I had not been unsafe.
I knew my driving hadn’t been unusually slow.
I pretty much was stuck in the flow of the traffic.
Yes, I was WEARY!
The day had drained me of practically every ounce of energy.
HOWEVER, that had NOT hindered my driving ability.
Still, I longed to be able to explain myself.
Somewhere out in that city is a woman, and a young girl, who may still be angry with the driver of a red Subaru Outback, that they “THINK” was on her phone for approximately two miles.
Anger says, “You owe me.”
Anger says, “I want something and you are preventing me from having it.”
What she wanted (I guess) was to go faster…
What she wanted was me out of her way…
What she wanted was less traffic (good luck with that at 4:30-ish PM in downtown Phoenix)…
What she wanted was to vent her frustration with someone who couldn’t attack back…
What she wanted was something I couldn’t give her:
However, I became the symbol of why that couldn’t happen for her.
So, she tore into me.
And, there it is…
Newsflash: It can never fully be so this side of heaven.
Yet, when it’s hard, we look for someone, ANYONE, to blame.
Many times, it’s the anonymously unknown individual we point to and fault.
The innocent one.
We vent to those who cannot attack back…
There are several directions this story can take.
But, what do we do if we are the one with the expectation and our journey is tough?
…When life is hard?
…When people stand (or drive) in our way?
…When I’m not getting where I want to go quick enough, easy enough, or without complication?
What do I do?
Instead of venting in frustration….
Instead of expressing anger, sinfully, what are my options?
What’s a biblical response?
What’s a follower of Jesus to do?
This is what I’m pondering…
Because, that day will come, when I’m the one driving behind the woman I think is on the phone, preventing me from what I want….
This is the back story.
You’ll have to come back for more…
Until then, read the verses on anger interspersed throughout this blog, explore your thoughts on the issue, as well.
“See you” (metaphorically speaking) on Tuesday…
