Tomorrow will undoubtedly be the last first day of school for this year. All week I’ve mulled over the “letting them leave” perspective (you must read last week’s blog if you haven’t). It put me in a reflective funk, as I relived the first days of pushing my kids out of the nest. At the time, it seemed like such a cruel thing to do, not just because it hurt my own heart; but it was hard on them, too. Yet, every baby bird that’s ever soared has been taught how to fly, then let go. Any attempt on my part to hold on is nothing more than a heart-issue of idolatry. (Ouch!) So, the Lord impressed on me, way before the day came, that I needed to hold those children-He-gave-me loosely. If I didn’t let them fly, not only was it an idol-issue; but, it would suffocate them. So, for my own growth and theirs, as well as for His glory, each child, when ready, left us.
I thought back to the day we drove away from Stephanie (our oldest), while she stood sobbing on the curb at Grand Canyon University. At that moment, college-by-video seemed the best option. I was ready to put her, and her luggage, back in the truck and forget doing college-a-9-hours-drive-away. My husband stayed strong (until he got in the car), unlocked my arms from my child, and hauled me away (I might, or might not, been kicking and screaming, I don’t remember). He’s the one who has always had the best practical sense in the family.
On the drive home, the ever-present ache-in-the-soul found some good medicine. Grabbing a new pair of “perspectacles” (by letting them leave, I allow them to receive) was only part of the prescription God gave me to put in my cabinet. There were a few other things that helped. Let’s take a look inside some of the Lord’s home remedies.
The second thing everyone should have available is chocolate. (What? You weren’t expecting God to be so “unspiritual” when prescribing meds for achy hearts?) Chocolate is always a good idea, as is coffee (but for different reasons, and at that time I didn’t drink coffee…gasp!). Caution: you can eat too much chocolate, and it has an addictive propensity. So there is a warning label on the chocolate medicine bottle. “Eat in moderate doses, and only when needed.” I didn’t know the reason why I craved chocolate on that particular drive home, but at our first stop, I grabbed a big old bar and wallowed in it. Perhaps it was the distraction, perhaps it was a placebo affect, but, seriously, it helped. Chocolate is great comfort food. Here’s what I discovered years later. There is this essential amino acid that is plentiful in chocolate called “tryptophan”. Basically, what tryptophan does is produce in us a chemical that aids in a sensation of “satisfaction.” It’s like an anti-depressant in a chocolate bar. I highly promote Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.++
Then, as I was digging through my purse, I found a message on cassette tape someone had given us. (I know, I’m dating myself: videos, cassette tapes…) We decided that might be a good distraction, even though we weren’t feeling entirely spiritual. Oh, my! God new what we needed in BIG DOSES. The message was titled Super Sheep; Ken Davis was the speaker. If you know Ken Davis, you know how funny this man is; though, I highly doubt that message was nearly as humorous as it seemed that day. Because our emotions were planted on the surface, we not only laughed and got a good chuckle, but we laughed until tears were streaming down our cheeks. God knew. He knew how healthy that kind of laughter would be. He reminded both of us of this fact: when life is serious, laughter truly is good medicine. It’s a way of releasing the pressure valve caused by the battle between our negative experiences and our limited resources to make a difference. In fact, God gives us biblical permission to laugh, even when laughter seems to be the last thing you want to do. That day, the Lord showed me anew, amidst the hard-of-life, God really knows what He’s saying when He gave us these words:
May this simple verse be our Word-for-the-Week. May we all, amidst the sorrows, find a way to be merry in the middle of hard. It’s a great starting place.
P.S. For your convenience, here’s a list of some of my top ten funny YouTube videos (following the guideline of “morally excellent” & not in any particular order). Let me just say, Tim Hawkins is always a good idea, along with chocolate.
3. The Mom Song
4. Stop It!
6. Delilah
8. Mom Goggles
P.S.S. Of course, you were expecting prayer to be in the medicine cabinet, so I won’t neglect to add it. That’s a spiritual given. I prayed harder than ever…I met with a group of moms (just like me), and we prayed for one another’s kids. These women over the years were my go-to prayer warriors. Sometimes they wrapped words around just what I was needing to say, but couldn’t. Often they came with more truths from Scriptures to pray over my young adults that added to my perspective.
P.S.S.S. Then, I learned to drink coffee about the time #3 went off to college. Coffee clears my cloudy mind. Coffee and Jesus go together like chocolate and peanut butter. I sure do hear Him speak more clearly after a good cup of coffee (& when it comes to coffee, I am no snob). In other words, coffee helps you find your face, so you can put God’s prescribed perspectacles on each and every morning.
++ Ok, to be honest you can find tryptophan in healthy things, as well: oats, milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, chick peas, bananas, fish, poultry, red meat, eggs, sunflower seeds, pumpkin, & peanuts. I believe God chooses to give me permission to default to chocolate.