Recently I returned from speaking at a women’s conference.
The gals had chosen “Livin’ Loved” as their theme, with Ephesians 3:17-18 as their key passage.
What a great study for me!
…and still is.
In fact, I will probably be doing a fall retreat around the same theme, but with the addition of a couple of extra speaking sessions.
Thus, my focus-of-study this week has been Paul’s most poetic passage in 1 Corinthians 13 – and I’ve been diving into each and every word.
If we “live loved,” then
Right? “Sure,” she says a bit sarcastically…
It’s right there: Love is not rude and is not easily angered.
Then came yesterday.
At the card aisle in Walmart.
This is a big month of celebrations: birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, Mother’s Day… Hallmark makes a killing off of me. Every May I chide myself for not buying stock in Hallmark.
But, I always head straight for the $.47 section (I’ll show them!)
There was a woman already there.
She was bent down picking out cards.
I didn’t want to be “RUDE,” because I’d been taking my study to HEART.
So, there was plenty of room, and I didn’t want her to think she had to move on my account, so I stood there for a few minutes, before simply stepping to her left, and picking up a couple of cards to examine. My thinking led me down this conscious path to not say, “Excuse me,” as I didn’t want her to feel rushed. So, I grabbed the cards and stepped back, never touching the gal.
My thinking was wrong….obviously.
When she stood up and saw me, I got the GLARE.
It was an ANGRY GLARE.
A LONG and ANGRY GLARE.
I tried ignoring it; after all, love is not easily angered…
She said in a huff, “EXCUUUUUUUUUSE me!”
To which I replied, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought there was plenty of room and didn’t want to bother you;” and, I stepped a little further back.
Her reply was another glare…the kind that lets you know you’ve been skewered and are prepped for the barbecue.
I didn’t move (my bad…).
She did. Her forearm came across my mid-section, and, instead of stepping behind me, she forcefully shoved me back further, and stepped in front of me, throwing her cards to the floor…and began walking off.
I was shocked, nothing came to mind…except, “Whoa, there’s no need to push…” and, the words rushed from my mouth before I could catch them.
She turned back to me, and with finger pointing in my face, let me have it. I’m thinking you could have heard her anywhere within a three block radius of Walmart. Here’s the short version:
I was rude.
She’d never seen someone so rude.
The least I could have done before I bent down and reached over the top of her was to say, “Excuse me.”
I had been prolifically damned to hell…
So, I apologized and attempted to justify myself, “I’m so sorry; I really was trying to give you plenty of room and not bother you.”
But, I had bothered her!
The fact is, she felt I had been rude.
In her mind, I had not taken her situation into account…and by not letting her know I was there, had apparently caught her off guard.
I learned a lesson of living loved, right there in the card aisle.
No matter what the situation (!), go to extra measures to think about the other person…
Ask: how will they view the situation, and make every effort to go to an extreme to live out love…
…with patience, kindness, a slowness to anger…
…and the opposite of rudeness:
Obviously, I could use a refresher course from Emily Post.
PS. As I got in the car and turned the key over, the first words I heard were from Jeremy Camp’s song, Christ in Me –
Accident? I think not.